A Handmade Life (in a ready-made world): Balancing Curation and Convenience to Find You Own Style

None of the furniture in our house matches.  Generally my clothes don't really match and, by extension, Hadley's are a clash of patterns and dark colours (we're really into greys and greens and navy - I was thrilled when her hair grew long enough for a little clip so that well-meaning old ladies would stop asking how old 'he' was!).  I'm the product of an artist mother who painted her houses (and there were a few, we're a bit nomadic by nature) in colours like 'Matisse Orange' and 'Tennis Ball Green' and an Americana antiques-obsessed biker dad.  Combine that upbringing with a husband who works in antique jewellry and has his own incredible appreciation for the stylish, the quirky, and sometimes downright bizarre, there was never any hope of our home looking like a Farrow & Ball or even IKEA showroom.  To put it plainly, our family likes STUFF.  But mostly we like OLD STUFF.

Since leaving home for university at eighteen, I've spent a lot of time in rented accomodation: Ancient presumed-haunted dormitories (holla to my Robie-Andrews buds!), buildings with secret saunas (that still worked.  Not that we were really supposed to test them out...), a stone-floored Florentine flat for 7 with views of Santa Maria di Fiore, an Art Deco studio apartment with the tallest ceilings and unpredictable radiators, a surreal summer spent in a cottage directly on the beach of a teeny tiny island off the coast of Maine, the converted basement of a German/English family's home just outside of Hamburg and finally, a massive crumbling Victorian terraced house on the edge of a canal that was my first home with the husband. 

We loved that house so much.  Michael spent months tearing out carpeting and stripping wallpaper, painting the whole place white so that when I arrived, emotional but elated from two years nannying in Hamburg, he proposed to me with a beautiful ring he designed and a big blank canvas of a home to begin our life together.  We had no money but spent everything we had on paint and plaster and the coolest second-hand furniture we could find.  Our dining room walls were painted blue chevron with bright yellow curtains that I made from offcuts of Ikea upholstery fabric and on our bedroom wall I began a giant mural of a blossoming magnolia (that I never finished...I got lazy).  Even though we were renting that place from his mum, we still put everything we had into it until it was a stitched together space of our own. 

When it was time to move on and become homeowners, we fell in love with and bought the second house we looked at: another Victorian terrace on a slightly smaller scale just one mile down the canal from our first home and completely finished except for some cosmetic work that we were eager to dive into.  With both of us now in stable full-time jobs and a bit more cash to play with, we became less impulsive in our house shopping, more discerning in terms of style and quality and have, over the past 3 years, designed a home that feels like us but a bit more grown up.  There's less clutter, more purpose to our various collections (we're sticking to records, antique cameras and my kitschy pleasure of vintage porcelain fawns).  The wild colour combinations are gone (except for a bright green kitchen ceiling), replaced with bright white walls and Danish teak charity-shop treasures.  There's a clear fondness for geometric light fittings, screen-printed concert posters & sentimental wall art, bare floors and bright rugs.  Nothing is from the same 'line', in theory nothing should fit but somehow, inexplicably it looks just like us and is a perfect reflection of who we are as a family.  Even our daughter's bedroom sticks to the same ideas and themes of functionality, nostalgia, whimsy and sentimentality. It's certainly not to everyone's taste but that's the beauty of the times! There is no right way to decorate, no right way to get married and definitely no right way to dress.  There is no longer a normal, thank goodness!

n a world where entire houses can be boxed up and shipped to their new owners, where 'fast fashion' prevails, Hobby Craft has an entire DIY 'Vintage Wedding' section, and Anthropologie is selling exact replicas of perfectly distressed shabby-chic antique dressers at a 1000% mark-up it can be so easy to curate a personal style by just shopping online.  Indeed we've had some amazing luck finding furniture on eBay and I'm the first to check out the Anthro sale when it comes up.  But sometimes you find gems in the least expected of places without having to spend a fortune! Wilkos, Tesco Direct, Next, HomeSense and TK Maxx, Dunelm Mill and especially Ikea; these companies more and more are giving in to the Pinterest idea of home and event decorating, encouraging people to mix and match so that no two spaces are alike.  For many families and couples in our twenties and early thirties who are newly on the property ladder, still in the early years of our careers and/or new parents, we don't have a lot of disposable income.  We have to improvise, to dig and search and yes, shop, so that we don't have to sacrifice style for cost.  That's the beauty of some of these companies and the products we are seeing on the shelves.  And combining new and inexpensive with found or secondhand is when your style really becomes unique because you've worked for it, you've thought about it and it means more than just the fact that it was pretty.  Or it can just be pretty! That's cool too!

If you're not into the idea of secondhand or are really struggling to find quality in the vast land of charity shops, eBay, Gumtree and even Facebook buying & selling groups can be great places to start without having to leave home.  The key is to get an idea of exactly what it is you are looking for.  Instead of 'vintage sideboard' try searching '1960s atomic style teak furniture' and adjust location settings to a radius that you're happy driving within (keep this as big as you're comfortable with, you'll have more luck)...the field narrows considerably and rather than digging through a thousand listings, you're down to just 20.  Seek out small auctions of house clearances, estate sales and larger antique fairs like Newark.  You have to be patient and willing to haggle a bit but they can pay off beautifully!

No matter what, your personal style, your home, your wedding, they should all be a reflection of YOU.  But don't be afraid to try out something that scares you, something that traditionally 'shouldn't' work but does because you thought it up or found it.  Experiment! Play! Be bold! I can't wait to see what you come up with.

I really hate having my picture taken (and other concerns)

Last weekend I had the pleasure of meeting some really lovely brides-to-be and their families at the Village Hotel in Bury...they were all so excited, each had their own unique style, many had just booked their venues and were just looking for their photographer, others were in the very early stages, only recently engaged and trying to get ahead of the planning so it wouldn't catch up with them later down the line.  The couples drawn to our table were interested in something a bit different, a bit more relaxed, a bit more informal and EVERY SINGLE ONE said, somewhat sheepishly:

'I really hate having my picture taken!'

or

'I just want to relax and not pose for any photos'

or even

'I look AWFUL in photos'.

Ok so we'll get to each of those concerns but the biggest one, as a photographer, that I hear is the age-old story of not feeling photogenic/comfortable in front of camera/that you don't look like yourself in pictures.

I totally get it.

And as someone more used to being on the business end of a photograph, I share your concerns!

HOWEVER. (that word seems to show up a lot on this blog!) As someone who has photographed weddings for the past five years and seen every shape/size/style/look of bride, I can categorically say that

EVERY SINGLE BRIDE DAZZLES on her wedding day. 

You are completely aglow with the excitement and anticipation and sheer catharsis that is the culmination of hundreds of hours spent planning.  Your skin is radiant, your eyes are bright, your energy bounces off of you in a way that is almost palpable to everyone around you.  You are the most beautiful you have ever been because this day, this perfectly imperfect magical day is simply about JOY.

Roald Dahl once said that 'when you have happy thoughts, they will shine out of your face like sunbeams and you will always look lovely.' 

So you count on that love to illuminate you, you give in to nature and trust that you will look perfect because how could you not?!

'Yeah, Kate cheers for the hippie logic, but can I have some real advice please?'

Alright.  On a practical side, there are a few things you can actually do in the time leading up to the biggest photo shoot of your life to make things more relaxed and help you worry a bit less:

1. Have more than one face-to-face meeting with your photographer, preferably at your venue.  It's so important that we get a sense of each other, that I know what kind of photos you two are after but also what kind of banter you have with each other.  Do not discount the three page wedding questionnaire either! The more info I have, including a rough itinerary for the day, the smoother things will go and the more relaxed you'll be knowing it is already taken care of.  Oddly, it can also be nice to see each other in our eventual professional environment!

2. BOOK AN ENGAGEMENT SHOOT! I mean it, and this isn't a sales pitch, especially if you know you feel awkward in front of a camera, you get a sense of what kind of a photographer and director I am and I get an idea of what kind of couple you are: are you very tactile with each other? Not so much into PDA? More playful? Still shy (this is super sweet!)?  Plus you get a set of some cute non-wedding photos! Win-win!

3. Pinterest like crazy! Send me photos of weddings that inspire you! Some photographers advise against this and on one hand I agree as we all do have our own individual style (which is why you chose us to shoot your wedding in the first place!) but if I can get a clearer picture of the types of moments you'd like captured, I can serve you better on the day.  Whilst I would never copy a specific photo, we can find ways to emulate the vibe of an image so that it reflects your unique style!

4.  Give in to tradition. 'We hired you because we wanted more natural photos, not a traditional posed photo shoot!'  Yeah, I hear you.  But you also have parents or grandparents or older relatives of some sort who will want a lovely smiling photo with the happy couple and rather than fight them, it's nice to just set aside an extra 5 minutes.  We can always be a bit creative with these! Let's keep everyone happy!

So there you go! Some of this may not be new advice, some may not be exactly what you wanted to hear but no matter what, just think of those sunbeams.  Take heed of the rom-com masterpiece, 'How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days': You are never more beautiful than when you are in love...or something like that.

'He just doesn't sit still!': Photographing a child in constant motion.

One of the greatest joys of becoming a parent is watching this little squirmy, hungry, energetic creature evolve into a small person with opinions and creativity and full-fledged emotions (even if they're still working out how to express them!).  Granted, at the moment we are still in the early stages with our own Lady H but the difference in her even just on a day-to-day basis is astounding.  It was so easy to capture these beautiful, peaceful sleeping shots when she hadn't quite yet worked how to roll over and pretty much stayed put in whatever cozy position I placed her in.

One of the greatest challenges in setting up shop as a family and lifestyle photographer has been finding a knack for photographing the wild differences in the many amazing kids that you're lucky enough to shoot.  Even if you're not a professional photographer and you're just trying, seriously trying so hard to get one non-blurry photo of your 2-year-old so that Nana can order that 5-foot canvas for her wall, it's nearly impossible without a straightjacket and an IPad to contain that energy.

But wait!

What if there's another way?!

What if, in the process of trying to get that perfect posed, angelic shot; whilst chasing this rambunctious, opinionated kid through the park, the light hits him in a perfect way and he's got that cheeky grin on his face that he gets when he wants you to chase him and you see the great big full-fledged personality...

Take the picture, preserve that moment, know that you have managed to create a time machine with the click of a button because you've caught something REAL. 

When you stop trying so hard, when you give into the chase and the game and the fun,  you create magic. It never needs to be perfect because at the end of the day, we want portraits of our children so that time will stand still.  And as any mama or dad or aunt or grandparent knows, it all moves so fast that it takes your breath away.

Go to the park or into your backyard or set up a fort in your living room and let them do what kids do best: let them play. Just don't forget your camera.